Saturday, April 30, 2005

人生在世,当时常扪心自问。比如说,你有没有真才实学?你有没有虚度光阴?你有没有庸人自扰?
想清了这三个问题,人就会少犯些错误。

leaving skool guoyandao at 8:23 PM [comment] (0)

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如果我彻底放弃的话,我可能会比现在幸福。但我也可能错过一辈子的幸福。
有点艰难,但我不想做一个轻易放弃的人。

leaving skool guoyandao at 7:36 AM [comment] (0)

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Wednesday, April 27, 2005

舒翩昨天见我闷闷不乐,冲过来帮我分忧。结果她三言两语就尽解我心中块垒。在此感谢舒翩同志,您真是个好同志,党和人民会永远记住你的丰功伟业。我也了解了舒翩同志柔情可爱的一面。哈哈。
结果昨天晚上睡得特别香。香得错过了去华盛顿的车。这下亏大了。

leaving skool guoyandao at 1:26 PM [comment] (0)

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Tuesday, April 26, 2005

一切都是我自寻烦恼。
何苦来哉?

leaving skool guoyandao at 7:52 AM [comment] (0)

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荣幸转帖:

褚哥,杭州人,祖籍长春,另有说是北京,另另有说是上海,扑朔迷离。此人聪明绝顶,风华绝代,才高八斗,学富五车。现摘褚哥流芳百世之遗作如下。

《断桥》

迎着湖风
悄立在悠长、悠长
又断了的桥上
细雨捎着哀怨
我盼着妻
秋水,穿望
由彼岸踱来的妻
秋水一样的冰凉
冰凉的眼神,细雨的哀怨
夫妻两岸,无恙?
秋水摇着涟漪
涟漪搂着湖里的妻,
像我一样,
像我一样地悄立着
眷恋、向往,又惆怅
湖风拂散了秀发
秀发牵着忧伤的细雨
默默,又荡回桥上
那桥上,像梦一般
像梦一般地吹着湖风
断了一个秋水的梦
结了一段断桥的缘
断结不了,妻的
忧伤的眼光
我悄立在桥那方
不相忘

秋水,穿望
夫妻两岸,无恙?
谁先荡到那桥上
奈何桥上不相忘……


《沁园春-观潮》

六合塔顶,风卷残云,古刹弥雾。
览万里长堤,遏风破浪,天堑一桥,飞跨通途。
水涌苍穹,海天色变,滚滚巨涛一叹无。
感震撼,退汪洋大海,中原再图。
骏马焉可闲步,待十四万万人民主。
喜炎黄子孙,不受其苦,龙游水电,为民造福。
拔蹄草原,驰骋沙场,誓引三军豪杰目。
钱塘潮,集日月精华,笑傲江湖。


二零XX年五月十号,中国驻日公使楚留香代表中国政府当面向日本天皇递交的二十二条要求,内容如下:

第一号
中国政府及日本国政府,互愿维持世界全局之和平,兹定条款如下:

第一款在日本中央政府,须聘用有力之中国人,充为政治财政军事等各顾问。
第二款所有日本军事基地,最高指挥官务必任选中国人。
第三款向来日本境内,屡起中国人遇害案件,须将日本全境之警察,作为日中合办;地方警署本地招员,中央警署任选中国人。
第四款日本政府允诺一切军事材料由中国进口,日本国不得私自开发研究军事武器,或设立军械厂。
第五款日本全日空航空公司由中国东方航空公司全权接管,日本新干线电气铁路公司由中国铁通全权接管。如有需要,日本须将国内长途公路运输承包权让于或租与中国个体企业。
第六款日本国内任何企业接受外资合办,须经过中国政府同意。
第七款日本承认中国国人在日本有布教之权,任何情况之下都不得干涉。
第二号
中国政府及日本国政府,为进一步增进两国合作,促进国民交流,兹定条款如下:

第一款日本国允诺中国公民凭中国护照有自由进出日本国之权利,日本国民进出中国须申请,且最长逗留不得超过三天。
第二款日本国允诺中国公民在日本国居住,享有一切日本国民政治及经济权利。
第三款日本国将除北海道,本州,四国,九州之外所有岛屿,无论何项名目,概不让于或租与别国。
第四款日本国允诺,日本国所有岛屿,包括列岛四岛,全部开放给中国私企发展旅游业。
第三号
中国政府及日本国政府,因日本承认中国在北海道及本州北部地区享有优越地位,兹以定条款如下:

第一款两订约国互相约定,将小樽、札幌租借期限并函馆港口,均展至九十九年为期。
第二款中国臣民在旭川地区的十胜平原,为居住、商业、工业或教育应用之房厂,或为农业,可得其需要土地之租借权或所有权。
第三款日本本地原住民阿伊努族须南迁至北东北地区田泽湖以南,以方便中国国民居住往来,并经营工商业等各项生意。
第四号
中国政府及日本国政府,顾于中国资本家于日本国内若干企业现有密切关系,且愿增进两国共通利益,兹议定条款如下:

第一款两缔约国互相约定,待将来相当机会,将松下(panasonic)、索尼(SONY)、三菱(mitsubishi)作为两国合办事业;并允如未经中国政府之同意,所有属于以上公司一切权利产业,日本政府不得自行处分,亦不得使公司任意处分。
第二款日本政府允准,所有属于任天堂(Nintendo)、世嘉(Sega)、索尼次世代(playstation & playstation2)、科纳米(Konami)及史客维尔(Enix-Squaresoft)等公司的销售网点及经营范围,全部限于日本本国内。以上公司的国外分部,由中国政府全权收管。
第五号

中国政府本着维护日本国家主权的良好愿望,暂不需日本履行第一号至第四号所有条款,条件为日本履行第五号条款如下:

第一款日本政府再次允诺,不得拥有除自卫力量以外的军事部队、武器。
第二款日本政府允诺,日本国销毁本国所有核武器,并永远不会研制开发任何大规模杀伤武器。
第三款日本政府允诺,修改日本教科书。凡涉及二战中日本侵略中国历史部分,一概按史实重新编写,并向国民承认篡改历史之事实。
第四款日本现任天皇,就二战侵略中国所有惨案向中国人民郑重谢罪。
第五款日本政府最高领导人,自本届起,不得以国家领导人身份参拜靖国神社。
第六款日本政府立即发表国际声明,一旦违反以上五条条款任一条或数条,将无条件接受第一号至第四号所有条款。

仿《二十一条》,纯属虚构,如有雷同,实属巧合。

leaving skool guoyandao at 12:41 AM [comment] (0)

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今晚和一个很重要的朋友长聊,心中这些日子以来埋得发霉的话得以全部破土而出。于是发生了四件事:
一:无比畅快,好比手突然长长了挠到背心那个怎么也挠不到的痒。
二:发现这家伙根本是个白丁。
三:发现我煽起情来不亚于痞子蔡,把自己给感动坏了。不过好像也只有我自己被感动坏了。
四:了解了一切真相,觉得生命从未如此美好。
什么事都没有发生。但我觉得比什么事都发生了还要高兴。从此又回到了我梦中的16岁。永远的16岁。

leaving skool guoyandao at 12:28 AM [comment] (0)

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Monday, April 25, 2005

俗人

今天想做一个俗人,看了我猜我猜我猜猜猜,这期的真他妈好看!!美女们都很可爱漂亮,个个我都想约,但是最重要的是嘉宾!!!!!我最喜欢的两个嘉宾今天全部到场啦!!!!!她们就是美丽温柔的刘真!!!!和简单纯真的林立雯!!!我看到林立雯整个心都充满了幸福的满足感,哈哈哈哈。可惜了。
好俗啊。他妈的。
还有今天又做了一件错事,对不起朋友,我非常非常非常后悔。

leaving skool guoyandao at 3:06 PM [comment] (0)

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Sunday, April 24, 2005

Watched Interpreter, it was really a great movie. Great cast, great plot. Successful production I guess. For the first time in my life, I feel that Nicole Kidman is very very beautiful, and I would fall in love with her character in the film, an independent woman who lives her dreams but at the same time remains a lovely girl inside. Also for the first time, I find a woman in business outfit attractive.
Sean Penn put up a convincing performance again. He played a man who's cool, smart but at the same time vulnerable at the loss of the dearest thing in life. I guess it's very cool to be a man like that. The moment he plugged out the music station's power supply and plugged it in again to play his favourite music, it was very cool. He didn't care about the whole bar, he didn't care about the world outside at that moment. And that's very cool.

leaving skool guoyandao at 10:12 PM [comment] (1)

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Saturday, April 23, 2005

回家

一年的飘荡
一天一夜的漂泊
我终于回到家门口
望着天空
脸上写满了春夏秋冬
困惑感慨
隔着门就是
爸爸又添了皱纹的脸
妈妈湿润的眼眶
我将是一个微笑的男人
成熟的儿子
进去给家里报喜
然后在半夜起身
听着他们甜美的睡眠
沉默一宿
我多想
一回到家就永远是个容易受伤的孩子

leaving skool guoyandao at 12:06 PM [comment] (0)

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旅行

收拾所有的行囊
收拾自己
收拾奢华的生活收拾我的整个世界
明天
去旅行

去看撒哈拉沙漠
比萨斜塔
巴比伦河和圣彼得大教堂
去看巴黎的日出
柏林的雨
巴塞罗那的狂热舞蹈
我和我的包裹
不断地穿梭飞行
从这个城市到那一座
作为永恒不变的过客
将自己的身影不断重叠在
更永恒的风景上面

背向内心旅行
你可以说这是一场自我放逐
每个旅行的人都是这样
走了一圈回到原地
和自己的灵魂重逢的时候
只愿平静满足

leaving skool guoyandao at 11:27 AM [comment] (0)

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今天我的Media Player居然放出了一首the Cure的很accoustic的歌,叫做out of this world。好听的很令人惊喜。Robert Smith的声音跟他在lullaby里面的一样感性令人沉醉。我喜欢他这个变态偶尔温暖的感觉。他不停的吟唱着:"always have to go back to real life"。是的,我们总要面对最真实的生活。踏踏实实的生活吧,孩子们。
看到Kurt Kobain对pearl jam的评价,说他们是披着grunge外衣的商业音乐。这点让我很生气,Kurt Kobain是我最喜欢的摇滚艺人,但是这孩子老是看不起别人乱骂人,这点不好,pearl jam的音乐才华没有Nirvana那么惊世骇俗,但是还是非常非常高深的,不然他们就写不出Black和yellow ledbetter这么经典大气的歌来。我是很喜欢Pearl Jam的,什么时候来费城啊。我倾家荡产去看他们。
买了一瓶polo blue的古龙水。在一帮超级metrosexual的新加坡人指点下。从此成为一个俗人。
看了可可西里,剧情很紧凑,一部电影完了感觉怎么这么短啊。几个很震撼的镜头,登山队员一开始的被杀,让我想起了辛德勒的名单里面那个犹太女建筑师被枪杀的画面。恶人若无其事以聊天的语气杀人比大发兽性大杀大砍更让人觉得彻骨的寒冷,连最彻底的怜悯之心也没有了。刘栋在送食物和汽油接应其他巡山队员时误陷入了流沙,他拼命拼命地挣扎,最后还是放弃了,闭上双眼任自己沉了下去。我看到这个时候椎心的痛。这么能干矫健的男人啊,一点反抗的能力都没有。日泰队长最后被用机关枪打死,虽然是预料之中的事,但是还是让人感到绝望。这部电影的一大成功在于真实。在恶人面前,一切靠自己支撑的志愿巡山队员是那么的脆弱。
很震撼,巡山队员一个个都是最男人的男人。刘宇在我旁边说,一辈子为了自己所相信的,全力以赴了,就没什么好遗憾了。我说,说得真好。

leaving skool guoyandao at 9:02 AM [comment] (0)

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Friday, April 22, 2005

闲来无事 (六)

麦琪姑娘对此缺乏准备,愣在那半天,若有所思地缓不过气来。我连忙机灵地傻笑说开玩笑的开玩笑的。其实我说的是,kidding kidding 外加若干个尴尬的哈哈哈哈。说到这里有一点需要补充一下,我们到现在为止所有的对话都是用英语进行的。虽然我写得好像我们在讲中文一样。其实不是,比如当麦琪姑娘要我蹲下的时候她说的不是“你二啊你,还不快蹲下”,而是“squat down“, dick.当然她也可能没有用dick这个词,这个词在英语里面是很坏的,麦琪姑娘可不是什么坏人。因此很有可能这只是我自己一厢情愿的记忆罢了。
我还以为接下来她要佯嗔骂我色狼了,很多人不知道,色狼这个词在英语里面可不是color wolf,色狼应该是horny guy或者pervert。但是麦琪姑娘没骂我horny也没骂我pervert。她沉吟了一下说那好去我屋吧,你们男生的房间我又不是没去过,那是人住的地方吗?我说哦。好吧。
沉默了半晌。她说,那好我要去吃饭了,很高兴认识你,你叫什么名字啊?我说郭二,你就叫我郭吧,别叫我二。美国人叫中国人名字都只叫一半,而且一般是first name,就是第一名,我的第一名是二,我刚到美国的时候想都没想,就跟人自我介绍说我叫二。结果我跟我妈视频聊天我妈说美国人怎么老骂你啊?我说没有啊妈。我妈说那我听见人家老管你叫二。我说二怎么了。我妈说儿啊你不知道吗北京话里面二就是傻的意思啊。我说我真不知道妈你不是宁波人吗你怎么北京话说得比儿子还溜。
麦琪姑娘说那好吧,很高兴认识你郭,我叫麦琪。我说那我叫你麦吧。她说什么?我说never mind。 我意识到美国人认识不到这其中的幽默。我的意思是说我可以跟我的中国朋友这么介绍她,这位姑娘姓麦,叫麦琪。Ms. Mai.
我们交换了手机号码。真是得来全不费功夫。麦琪姑娘说,我要去吃饭了,我住在哥伦布楼,你住哪儿?我说我住爱因斯坦楼。她说,哎呀,那咱们的食堂在一块儿啊,你要一起吃饭吗?我说不了,我今天晚上跟朋友约好了在牛顿楼的食堂吃饭。她说好吧,那你今天晚上什么时候过来给我打个电话吧。我说好的,goodbye。goodbye。我们现在还不熟,我可要矜持一点。
在牛顿楼等我的猪朋狗友便是J君。此人原来总是不识相的跟小S和M君成天在一起吃饭,后来被我和D君联手骂了个狗血淋头才幡然醒悟发誓从此不再当电灯泡。我本来总是跟D君一起在居里夫人楼食堂吃,因为居里夫人楼是女生楼,而且那儿的女生全是sluts,气温一高过32华式就开始穿超短裙。但是今天D君飞到旧金山去接他女朋友去了。
以往我跟J军吃饭的时候,全部是他给我滔滔不绝地讲肥皂剧剧情,无非是今天A跟B酒醉之后上了趟床明天B开始吐到医院检查发现意外怀孕后天B的旧情人C踢了B一脚导致她流产云云。我已经看透了肥皂剧世界的千篇一律。但今天我滔滔不绝,从非洲原始人讲到基因工程学。J君瞪着我看,说你小子不是发春了吧。
我想,我是发春了。
吃完饭后我飞奔回家对着镜子把自己半英寸长的头发做了三遍,又偷了我室友的Tommy古龙水,信心满满地踏向哥伦布楼。结果我在麦琪姑娘的楼下打她电话,占线。等了一分钟,再打,还是占线。等了三分钟,再打,占线。等了五分钟,再打,占线。2月12号晚上,您要是经过哥伦布楼,就可以看见一个傻子站在门口打了一个小时电话。最后我沉痛总结道,以后一定要问清人家房间号码。

leaving skool guoyandao at 1:27 PM [comment] (1)

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人生如戏,世事如梦。

leaving skool guoyandao at 1:17 PM [comment] (0)

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I screwed up my French Listening, big times. Gone is my hope of getting an A for French, also gone is my hope of getting a 4.0 GPA semester, for who the hell knows, this might be my last chance of a 4.0 GPA semester. Looking back, I was being over-confident, or rather over-pessimistic. I pretty much screwed it up myself and there's no one to blame. I was just a little surprised, coz usually for the very last struggle, I'd do my best and do very well, I'm too lost these days to understand why.
Yesterday someone criticized me for being too vulgar. She gave me a preach on how my cursing has reflected a very bad image of me. Usually I hate preaching, it's the one item that I forgot to put under 'I hate' column to the right. But this time, I was being very polite for thanking her to point it out. So either I'm more fake a person now, or I did fucking grow up a little. Still, I think a person that doesn't enjoy cursing when it's necessary leads a boring life. And I hope you all agree.
Quote of the day:
Random girl: F u!!!
Me: Right now? Okay, my place?

leaving skool guoyandao at 10:58 AM [comment] (0)

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Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Alright man, I guess growing up is a long process and sometimes, man it's not that fun. But I'll keep growing stronger and be a better man. Watched video of myself and I seemed like an idiotic clown, maybe that's how I always am in others' eyes. Somehow I started to feel that this is it man, you gotta stop foolin' around and grow up. Grow up and be a man.

leaving skool guoyandao at 1:13 PM [comment] (1)

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Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Well sometimes I just wanna be crazy be hysterical don't care about anything in the world(one year in Singapore my desktop was "I don't care about anything") do whatever i want in spite of the whole world's opposition fuck whoever who points his fingers at me fuck you you losers i gotta do everything my own way who the fuck are you I don't give a fucking damn if you're Chairman Mao or Hitler.
But I just can't, I've lost all my feelings, why am I so cool? I don't wanna be so cool.

leaving skool guoyandao at 6:42 AM [comment] (0)

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Monday, April 18, 2005

一直以为我的诗写得很不错。最近我才发现,也许我的诗并不怎么样。起码如果要写歌词的话,我的东西怎么看怎么俗,高雯这家伙如果写歌词那就比我脱俗凝练的多。以前我挺看不起歌词的,觉得只是文字游戏罢了,无非是情情爱爱的,现在才发现,写好的歌词,像林夕,李宗盛那样的婉约或洒脱的歌词,不是一件容易的事。
在餐厅的KTV大赛上听到Mariah Carey的hero,想起这首歌曾经是我的精神支柱,有点恍如隔世。每个人每个阶段都有一首紧扣心境的歌代表那段人生,对我来说,这样的歌曾经有:(按时间顺序)刘德华的长夜,万芳的四季,老狼的一封情书,某某的because I love you, 张国荣的不想拥抱我的人,黄耀明的一千年的爱,刘以达的晚节不保,Soul Asylum 的 runaway train, Paul Simon的Scarborough Fair, Goo Goo Dolls的iris, Bread的if, 孙燕姿的天黑黑,Jeff Buckley的hullelujah, Red House Painters的Have you forgotten how to love yourself, Don McLean的vincent,Tom Waits的jersey girl, 以及最近的Gary Jules的 Mad World. 有时候想起这些我生命里的歌,轻轻地哼起,就仿佛看到了当年的天空的颜色,闻到了当年风的味道,想起了我曾经那么喜欢却毫不了解的女孩子的笑靥如花。偶尔会眼眶湿润,但这是很温暖的事。
生命中人人也都有最钟爱的诗句,我也跟大家一样,都喜欢过“黑夜给了我黑色的眼睛,我却用它来寻找光明“和“面向大海,春暖花开”。但我心里也有真正触动过我的诗句,比如”满天风雨下西楼“,比如叶芝的when you grow old。
音乐,诗歌,那些花儿,都是生命最美丽的时刻。

leaving skool guoyandao at 5:42 PM [comment] (0)

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I always had wonderful experiences with STA. Today it was a Thai girl called Winnita who served me. And jesus christ she's really cute, sweet and professional at the same time. The idea of asking her out crossed my mind for like 2 seconds. AND THEN FADED AWAY. But these people are really sweet and cool, I've already fallen in love with STA. Everyone should go to STA to book your tickets, and talk to Rick and Winnita.
I thought something's gonna hit me today, but it didn't. I guess, yeah there's no rush. We are all adults and we should have no problem controlling emotions.
Monday is the pass-out day.
Last but not least, I'll get back to Xian2 Lai2 Wu2 Shi4 on Friday, sorry to keep you guys waiting. I've absolutely no clue what I'm gonna write either.
I'm going to Europe and this is gonna be fucking awesome.

leaving skool guoyandao at 12:59 PM [comment] (0)

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Sunday, April 17, 2005

Yeah so tonight was actually better than the sonic youth night. Well maybe not, fuck it I don't really know.
Went to Wok, it's a pretty good restaurant, definitely beats Bei Jing, but I still din't really love the food coz it's not spicy or heavily-tasty enough.
Then I went to see the lifehouse, Gao wen's friend once said that they're a band for 13 year old girls. I think she made sense. While the songs in No Name Face were great and truly post-grunge, their later songs are just more like high school pop boy bands. And their live was not as good as their CDs, or sonic youth. I think the solo guitar's sound was alwyas a little awkward and din't blend into the entire set. But well, still, it was a good time.
And for you who would be reading this, I miss your jokes. And we'll see what happens after the summer=)

leaving skool guoyandao at 10:54 PM [comment] (0)

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Fling '05 Log:

Tuesday
6pm - Bought first pack of beers in my life. And it was Miller Light. Recommended by Ding Yu. Later he scolded me and said it's too little. But the beer store is mother far away. Stored in Jerry's fridge.

Thursday
10pm - KA party. Fucking awesome. Kenn Kweder was a muthafucka. He spoke tons of vulgarities and kept flirting with the girls although he's already 60 years old. The Party was really really great, as attested by many who attended. The only thing was that it was a school-registered party so there were people around stopping us from drinking too much or drinking hard liquer. The bar was closed at like 1230. Bleh. I brought the four Chinese friends in for the first time but they had no beer. Sun Boyuan was still very happy though bcoz he got to dance with two attractive ladies. And shirley...shirley...what a big surprise haha.

Friday
9am - Woke up. Had to walk Kelvin to the M&T day. He's a very nice kid. Brilliant, got into both MIT and M&T. Sporty but not jorky. Cool guy. Had to thank him for helping me regain some sort of confidence in terms of communication. Studied for French Oral last-minute.
1045am - French oral, screwed up. Big times(bcoz someone likes this). Almost crushed my confidence of getting an A for French. Oh well, I probably deserve it. But I'm very sad. This is the worst way to start flinging.
11am - Screwed up again. Big times. I failed my mission of helping fundraising for a House charity event which shouldn't be hard at all. The costly lesson learnt: don't do things last minute.
3pm - Tax advising. The old tax advisor was so nice he warmed my heart. Met Yang Meng, she's so skinny now. But she's fun to talk with.
545pm - first fling experience, first live act, sputnicks down. Actually forgot how their music was like.
6pm - Dinner at Beijing.
7pm - Fling Concert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Amazing, best night ever.
12pm - came home and my room was having a big party. I drank with myself n talked to Danny.

Saturday -
10am - Woke up, talked with Wen.
1230pm - quick brunch in 10 minutes coz i din wanna miss the freaks of the beat show.
1245pm - Missed the freaks of the beat show.
1pm - from then on took pictures with tons of pretty girls haha.
130pm - Pregamed in Jerry's room
140pm - Alex nackman, accoustic, people din like it, another problem with penn students' taste.
2pm - Played carnival games with Jerry and Willy, good times.
230pm - This drexel emo band. I din like it but jerry did. But i still rocked with the music
3pm - Liam and Me. They're like the bravery, a little like the Strokes, and they're a white preppy band from West Philadelphia!!!! I loved their music and took pictures with each of them.
4pm - Singaporean BBQ, met a couple of cute girls.
5pm - Went on stage, Mask and Wig's show, it was unbelievable. 2000 drunk and crazy audience in front of us. Next year I'll be singing. I will.
7pm - Mask and Wig BBQ
8pm - Big surprise. Wen and Danny came down to the bowling alley again. If i weren't drunk at the time I probably wouldn't go since they were hanging out with their homeys. well.....fuck it, actually I'd still go.
12pm - got a call from Qiuwei, she's like so drunk when i saw her, we played beirut and I walked her to her room. Had a nice conversation with her.

This is my fling. but it's not over yet. not yet.

leaving skool guoyandao at 8:47 AM [comment] (0)

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Friday, April 15, 2005

Alright most of you will have no idea what I'm gonna talk about, but I just spent the best night of my life.
The sonic youth fling concert was a big disappointment for SPEC, because only about 200 people showed up, but was a miracle for me, I knew the concert would be amazing, but I din't expect it to be this good.
The concert kicked off with Cat Power, who's surprisingly stunning and shy. She didn't even speak or talk to us on stage, she just kept playing from song to song without pauses. She switched from guitar to piano in the middle, still never looking at us. Her music is kinda not really fit for such a drunken college crowd waiting to rock out. It's perfect for a dark melancolic bar where you broke up with your first girlfriend, of course that's kinda bullshit, bcoz i don't even know how it feels to break up with a girlfriend. But seriously, her "sadcore dark folk" music is so graceful, sad, introspective, amazingly delicate that you need to sit down in a corner and really sink into the music heart and soul. People were kinda disappointed by her introverted style on stage and were making fun of her. I was like, what the fuck man all you tasteless fuckers.
Then citizen cope came up. He plays really fun music, it's like a mix of reggae, rock and electric. The most interesting thing is the electric keyboard sound that in my memory only appears in death metal, but the effect was pretty good actually. It didn't really have chemical reactions on me until the last song which had a Sting feel and goes like...fuck, I forgot how it goes like. I'd say the only thing left was physical excitement because of the catchy melody, beautiful keyboard loops, exciting riffs and powerful bass. But it didn't touch my soul.
Sonic Youth did. I came to appreciate how post-punk and indie rock can be so mesmerizing. Those gorgeous guitar arrangements and sound fields were simply amazing. Plus the drummer is really good too so you can rock to the music. It is redundant to say how sophisticated, experimental, gorgeous and fascinating their music is. The big surprise is how good their live act is. Man I haven't been to many rock concerts but i had to say it's hard for any other band to top what Sonic Youth has to offer on stage. One little act they always do is like, at the end of a really exciting song, everyone will let down their guitar, pose it in different weird positions and just let the sound field go on, and I had to admit that it was fucking amazing. Jim o'Rourke i guess, the only guitar player that doesn't sing, once used some random object like a drumstick to play his guitar. Lee Ronaldo was an awesome vocal and did his magic with guitar really well. Kim Gordon was one cool, cool woman who was cute when she said on stage "I think a mosquito just bit me". But the most amazing, incredible, unbelievable guy is her husband, Thurston Moore, he was like a big kid on the stage, bouncing around and doing all the "the who" genuine rock and roll moves, and he did all sorts of riduculous things on the stage...like caressing the guitar, jumping around, licking the guitar, doing random crazy solos, in the final scene he went totally crazy, he first flinged the guitar on the ground, on his back, then rubbing it against the speakers, amps, came off the stage to induce the audience into caressing the guitar with him, finally climbed up the side stage(nobody knew how he did it) and stuck the guitar right through the steel post of the stage. I mean, that's beyond music, but doesn't everyone just want to see a rock and roll star like that?
I love them, every artist tonight, I'm really grateful that they gave me such a beautiful night.
Then, I did something which I should give myself credits for. I sneaked into the back stage, it was actually very easy coz nobody actually cared about me and I spotted the drummer of Sonic Youth, Steve Shelley was flirting with Cat Power. So I went up, politely interrupted them and requested to take a picture with'em. It was then when I realized how beautiful Cat Power really is. Too bad dear Ashley didn't work it out coz my battery was dying. Damn!!!!!I want my photo with Cat Power!!!!!!!she's so gorgeous!!!!!!!!I talked to her as well, and she's really really nice and vulnerable. I guess Steve Shelley was trying to encourage her to go on and tell her to go to him anytime she needs help. This bastard, I guess he just wanted to hit on her haha. They talked to me about potential tours in China, turned out that Cat Power only went to Taiwan. And she was telling me how much she liked the budda vegetarian meals in Taiwan. She is just so sweet and vulnerable!!!!!!!!!!I'm obsessed with Cat Power now.
This is getting politically wrong, and for those of you who think I'm probably drunk now, you're wrong.
So I almost managed to take a photo with Cat Power and Steve Shelley(it's just Cat Power, nobody gives a damn to Steve Shelley anyway haha). Two kids from Temple who I met were nice enough to wait for the rest of Sonic Youths to come out. And they all did. The only picture my dying camera caught was the one with Thurston Moore, he was..oh well...not as fun as he is on stage, many people are lik that I guess. But anyway when I tried to take photos with Kim Gordon and Lee Ronalhdo the battery totallly died. Shit man!!!!!But the one I cared the most, is the Cat Power one!!!!!!!Damn!!!!!!!!!!I love her!!!!!!!!!When am I gonna see her again?
Then when I came home. My home was turned into a big party. Oh my god

leaving skool guoyandao at 9:33 PM [comment] (1)

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Two Posts about Music

I.
Went to STA today to get my ISIC card and met this cool dude called Rick. He got a self-intro kind of card in fron' of him that said: the most interesting place he slept - sidewalk in NYC for Radiohead concert; the most interesting person he's met - Moby; if there's an eighth continent i will name it - Bjorkland. I'm not the kind of person that initiates a conversation in this kinda situation, but this time I was surprised how I just started talking to him. We talked about Sonic Youth, China rock bands. It was such a fun conversation. In the end I realized that after all I do have some passion in this world, and that passion is music.

II.
A philadelphia local label - Koherent - came down to Wynn Commons to give out a free concert. I went, and the music was super good. The beats were awesome, the loop was fun, the lyrics were as good as mine(well almost), but I was surprised to see the pathetic turnout. There were more artists and student coordinators than the audience. I couldn't understand it. I thought everybody on this campus loves hip-hop. Is it true that they only love hip-hop at the parties with booty and booze around? Why can't we just simply enjoy some good music? I hate people who don't genuinely love music. 叶公好龙。 fuck.

leaving skool guoyandao at 9:51 PM [comment] (0)

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Sunday, April 10, 2005

It wasn't long ago when I started thinking about being a greater man.
At the KA meeting tonight, Josh brought up the issue of Sudan genocide. And although as usual I didn't understand half of the issue they discussed, I figured we were talking about how our feelings for Sudan genocide relates to ourselves. Well my mind trailed off, and I thought about when I never thought about doing anything about the Sudan Genocide.
Actually, I never thought about how I can impact the society, make a difference in the community and help the less fortunate and issues like that. I used to think they were empty and more like political propaganda. But deep inside I know they are not. And it actually takes a very noble heart to devote himself to things like that. And I know all the time that it isn't that hard either, I see people around me devoting their time and efforts to community service and petition to help alleviate the Sudan Genocide. And I respect these people. The thought of being one of them just never crossed my mind.
Maybe I'm just not a noble man. I have friends like Zhang Hao, who has such noble hobbies and is so knowledgeable in so many fields that he's always making an impact on his surroundings(and a huge impact on my life). There's Yang Bo who's had such a passion on science he hopes to better the world with his science research.
Comparing myself with them, I feel like I'm nothing. I have sympathy and compassion, but I don't have noble goals. I might have random noble ideas that crossed my mind every now and then, but I just never take solid actions.
So I'm not a noble man, but maybe I can try to be a greater man. It sure takes a lot to be a great man.

leaving skool guoyandao at 6:20 PM [comment] (1)

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Cherry Blossom Festival.

Peter Ran is a fucking genius. We all love Peter Ran, without him this could not have happened.
I spent a beautiful beautiful day at Washington yesterday with Peter Ran and friends from Bryn Mawr, old friends(well not too old actually) 唐丹尼 and 高雯,new friend 王莹子, alright now that I mention the name, it actually reminds me of some women in the 玄真教, which is funny you understand Chinese and read 金庸。
And why was it so beautiful you ask? Because it was cherry blossom festival in Washington yesterday!!!The cherry flowers were so pretty they were drop-dead gorgeous. We took millions of photographs, some nice, some sweet, some ridiculous, some obscene.













or see the entire album...http://community.webshots.com/scripts/editPhotos.fcgi?action=viewall&albumID=318831274
But, actually you know what, the link is wrong, screwed up, doesn't work. It's only for me I guess so I'm an idiot/loser. If you want to see the whole album, email me and I'll email you back with an invitation. But I'm not telling you what my email is hahahaha. And I'm not taking the link down. Cuz I'm cool like that.

Basically all the wacky and obscene photo ideas are from the girls, and all the good and original ideas are.....well from the girls as well, Danny basically. Why is Danny so pretty and so smart at the same time? It's so unfair to an ugly and dumb loser like me. But Peter and I got some really nice postures and cool facial expressions. We walked around the cherry flower lake(there's definitely a latin or greek name for it but I forgot for christ' sake). Everything was peaceful until wen stepped on a huge dog's tail. Then we sat on the porch of Jefferson Memorial waiting for a missing child for an hour. Watching some hot ladies dancing and being sentimental. I almost let out a fucking big secret which had wen pestering me for the rest of the day. Aftter that, we went onto the white house, on the way to which someone asked me to "hook her up with some marijuana". The white house is so freaking beyond reach so I took some 俗气 photos like a fucking tourist. After some 'filling' hot dogs, the missing child n I decided to exploer the Lincoln Memorial while the three other losers decided to slack. Lincoln Memorial, relection pool, the ducks in the reflection pool and some random place with stone pillars representing the two big oceans and all the US states and pretty fountains were all super cool. It's a loss of those three losers hahahaha.
And then we all went crazy. On the way to the "best restaurant in Washington" - Hawk and Dove - recommended by dear Andrew Hill. We took a picture with every tree we passed by. Gao Wen kept complaining about how 'her face hurts so bad'. Danny and wen started playing dumb games like shadows stepping and scissors paper stone. We took another mocking photo in front a random statue in front of the Capitol Dome and I molested the statue. And then, finally!!! We got to the best restaurant in Washington, where I screwed myself up big times.(details too mentally disturbing to reveal) Haha. And the girls didn't seem to agree that it's the "best restaurant in Washington". So I ended up eating their cajun pork loin.
On the way back the two girls passed out, and peter, danny and I were engaged in a very intelletual conversation. About relationship and stuff.
The sunshine was beautiful. The cherry trees were beautiful. The girls from Bryn Mawr were and will be beautiful. So in conclusion, it was a beautiful day!!!!!!!!

leaving skool guoyandao at 10:56 AM [comment] (0)

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Friday, April 08, 2005

About Party.

Drink. Drink again. Drink once more. Drink until you get wasted. Flirt. Flirt with random and non-random girls. Dance with them. Get all over them. Take advantage of them. Get fucked. Get even more fucked. Get rowdy. Be one of the crazy asses roaming on the street at 2am on campus.
This is not the life I wanna lead. But this is American college life dude.
This is not the life I wanna lead. I wanna have a girlfriend who likes me, enjoyes my jokes and tolerates my bad habits. I wanna stick with her, watch movies with her, go to dinners with her, buy a Levi's pair of jeans with her, go to freshgrocer with her, study like fucking nerds at the library with her, walk with her holding hands, talk with her, worry about the future with her, save every penny possible with her, cry with her, love with her, spend the rest of my life with her. And I'm never gonna hit on any other sexy girl at any party. That's the life I wanna lead.
So I stood in the corner, sipping some rum and coke, watching the girls and boys dancing, touching each other, happily drunk faces, about-to-throw-up faces, and I feel sad, not because I couldn't fit in with the big party scene, but because I'm at parties seeing all these ridiculous things happening. I am still alone, still a creep, still a loser.
Oh God, this is not the life I wanna lead. I don't wanna lead a party life.

leaving skool guoyandao at 10:38 PM [comment] (1)

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看到那个传说中的剥皮的片子,看之前经历了一段心理矛盾,最后还是看了。看了之后长久无语。我从小就是一个热爱动物的孩子,曾经以为我未来的职业就是动物学家了。但我不是一个素食主义者,我想过这个问题,但是最后我觉得人吃动物就跟动物吃动物没什么区别,既然我们都是动物,没什么必要这么虚伪,生存的本能。但是没有动物会把别的动物的批剥来披在自己的身上,尽管有个寓言叫做披着羊皮的狼,没人会把它当真。我们什么时候沦落到了这种地步?我觉得发明皮草大衣的人跟第一个提出用人油做肥皂的人一样,是个他妈的畜牲。那些披着貂皮大衣的女人呢,我不想多置评价,人都是这样,眼不见为净,看不到的事情我何必要为其负责呢?好的,现在人家录像都出来了,并且在网上广为流传,皮草会就此绝迹吗?
不可能。
但愿每个人都能想一想,我们,每个人,不管你脸上挂着多少冷漠和自卫式的世故,都有一颗隐藏得很深的爱心。常常,在这个世界上我们会麻木,但我们需要时不时把爱心叫醒。
又想到,我有一个很好很好的朋友,经常在blog上面提到心疼这两个字,我想,还在心疼的人,一定还对爱,对感情,抱有厚厚的期望。心疼就是心底的感情太满了,溢不出来在心里结成了水晶,扎得心疼。

leaving skool guoyandao at 11:52 AM [comment] (0)

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Wednesday, April 06, 2005

闲来无事(五)

当然如你们所有人所料的那样,那个人就是让我有一点动心的麦琪姑娘。生活这东西有时候就像言情小说那样他母亲的俗。
麦琪姑娘的眼神又跟我接触了一次,停留了千分之一秒。如果她智力正常的话应该认得出这个每天在历史课上用蹩脚方法偷看她的变态。AIM同学一向坐我左边,就在从我到麦琪姑娘的直线上,好比我和麦琪姑娘是北斗七星中的两颗,延着我们的连线往北延长五倍就是北极星,也就是AIM同学,他母亲的,一不小心把这厮描绘成了北极星。众所周知,每当AIM同学发言全班同学有一个同时扭头瞪他的动作。这也是这也是我每次借机看麦琪姑娘的良机。但是有一天这厮居然坐在了我的右边,而且发言了,结果我们那边一堆人同时往右一甩头,就我一个人往左。结果第一次看清了麦琪姑娘的正面。她嫣然一笑,她的同伙则发出老牛发春般的恐怖笑声。
照我平时的习惯,这样的大好时机应该立即展开搭讪。但我今天没有,我停在那里,不知道要做什么。麦琪姑娘继续搜寻她要的书,我知道那本书的名字,《古中国,古罗马与古惑仔》。这个天杀的名字就跟我现在的处境一样尴尬。麦琪姑娘突然回过头来对我歉然一笑说,你知道怎么找书吗?
原来你是个智障,连怎么找书都不知道,你还配在这图书馆混吗?这是我第一反应,但我一揣摩,不行,还没熟到那个程度。于是我向麦琪姑娘挤出一个比她同伙更恐怖的微笑说,这这这这这这个很难的,哈哈。
我小时候跟我的老大在江南的道上混,不幸的是我老大是一个结巴,导致我现在也是他母亲的结巴。不严重,但总在最不适宜的场合复发。
麦琪姑娘显然觉得我很滑稽,笑得弯下了腰,说别紧张啊,慢慢来,哈哈哈哈。
她笑得就像一个调皮的小孩子,毫无顾忌,这显然与我印象中一个矜持的女孩相去甚远,让我突然想起了当年乔丹跑去打棒球的滑稽情景。
其实,我们图书馆的检索系统还是很复杂的,每本书配有一个检索号码,长达73位。所以我跟麦琪姑娘一起手忙脚乱地找了半天还是未果。最后麦琪姑娘倩手一指指向书架最高的一排,斩钉截铁地说,肯定就是在那儿,本姑娘的直觉向来没错过。我举头一望,他母亲的,那排书比篮球框还高出一个篮球,虽然我一米八七的大个子,但扣篮的高度还是从来没达到过。于是我说,那成,我去搬把梯子来吧。
不用啦,我有主意。麦琪姑娘笑嘻嘻地看着我说,你蹲下来,我踩在你肩膀上吧。
多年以后我也不知道自己是怎么想的,二话不说同意了这个下策中的下策。多年以后我还记得当年她的样子,我的麦琪姑娘,绑着轻松的马尾,淡绿色的T恤衫,有点褪色的牛仔裤,黄绿色的锐步跑鞋,矫健地跃上我的肩膀的样子。她站在我肩上,我觉得她一点重量都没有。只是她在上面说,哎呀,这儿没有,咱们往右移移吧,我就要小心翼翼地蹲下来,艰苦谨慎地蹲着往右挪动的时候,才感觉她简直重如泰森。
最后书找到啦,但是只有一本。怎么办呢?唯唯诺诺了半天的我突然机灵起来,我说,那不如咱们一起读吧,我今晚可以去你屋。麦琪姑娘瞪了我一眼,我一哆嗦,改口道,要么你今晚也可以来我屋。

leaving skool guoyandao at 2:23 PM [comment] (0)

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Alright so I was wrong. It is not my spring. It's the girls' spring. You know what I mean when you see them walking on locust walks with the beautiful skirts that they've been waiting to flaunt since last fall. Every girl is beautiful.
Stephan Chow's Kung Fu is going to take over the American cinemas!!!I've no doubt about that, I'm surprised by the nice response my friends told me about Shaolin Soccer, i thought it sucked big times. His best movies are 唐伯虎点秋香,食神 and 大话西游,these are the Stephan Chow classic, Kung Fu is a really good movie that I enjoyed immensely, but it's still different from 唐伯虎点秋香, that was like the best laugh I've ever had watching a movie. Anyway, kung fu shows that he's right back on track. I hated Shaolin soccer so much I have to stress it here again. I think in Shaolin soccer he lost all his sense of humour. Now the American ppl can see how much funnier the Chinese comedians can be. For that, I salute Stephan Chow, coz that's something I haven't been able to do.
Chelsea vs. Bayern Munich, Frank Lampard scored the most amazing goal in the past decade.
And last night, for the first time of my life, I finished a big project two days before the deadline, of course without knowing that the deadline is actually two days later. This is a big feat that I'll never achieve again.
For all of those who haven't listened to Beck's Odelay, GO BUY IT NOW!!!!!!!YOU WILL NEVER REGRET IT!!!!!!!!!THIS IS AS GOOD AS OK COMPUTER!!!!!!!!!!I heard his new album guerre is as good as Odelay, feel like buying it.
Going to Sonic Youth, countdown 9 days. Something better, countdown 11 days.
I've never talked so much bullshit online. Jesus Christ. The cherry blossom turns everyone into a little hyper talkative goblin.

leaving skool guoyandao at 2:03 PM [comment] (0)

***



Tuesday, April 05, 2005

歌词

压抑不住的幸福感
带着微笑入睡
美丽的梦境
带着微笑醒来
更美丽的生活
浮在空中的我
第一次觉得自己是个英雄
因为我的心在跳舞
我的心喝高了
我的心不在我身边
那么好吧时候已到
一切都来吧
来吧来吧快来吧

leaving skool guoyandao at 11:57 PM [comment] (0)

***


Still can't study. Can't study still. Can't still study. So I'm killing time and writing another poem nobody would probably read.

十六岁的夏天及其他

十六岁的夏天
我和一群傻不拉叽的小孩
经常唱着歌
把自行车骑得疯快
在城市川流的人群中穿梭
挥洒着青春的气息和
汗水

十六岁的夏天
天空很蓝很蓝
偶尔会下场倾盆大雨
整个学校的孩子们
一起哭泣
偶尔会很热很热
小张
会在静止的空气中停下来
神情凝重
我们都曾有这种冲动
在静止的空气中停下来
神情凝重
看着老师同学漂亮的女生们
在我们身边来来往往
觉得抓住了生命的真义

十六岁的夏天
踢球的夏天
小T喜欢的女生喜欢上了别人
我即将远行
我们在河流旁边造船,做饭
晚上看着星星
想起曾经让我们感动的长发
一个个成了浪漫的诗人

十六岁的夏天
我即将顺流而下
远走他乡
我心爱的女孩送给我一枝桃花
岁月于是变得绯红
我们扬着生涩的脸孔
吟诵彼此的名字

十六岁的夏天
人人都在写诗
诗人还是一个美丽的行业
我们面向大海
放声大吼毫无顾忌
把心情放飞
化成天上的朵朵白云

十六岁的夏天
我把头发剃到最短
觉得这样很男人
我将顺流而下
我们已将竹筏做好
在船头盛上沉甸甸的一袋红豆
再给我一个坚定的微笑
我就撑起长篙
一去不回

leaving skool guoyandao at 5:10 PM [comment] (0)

***



Monday, April 04, 2005

can't study can't study can't study can't study can't study can't study can't study can't study can't study can't study can't study can't study can't study can't study can't study can't study can't study can't study can't study can't study can't study can't study can't study can't study can't study can't study can't study can't study

leaving skool guoyandao at 9:59 PM [comment] (0)

***


Still can't study. I'm going crazy.

leaving skool guoyandao at 7:54 PM [comment] (0)

***


Can't Study, his mother's.

leaving skool guoyandao at 7:11 PM [comment] (0)

***


I've said this in Chinese, and now I'm gonna say it again in English, Spring is a beautiful season.
The real way to appreciate a season is feel it from inside. In my past years I've only felt the coming of Spring by the blooming flowers, fresh air and beautiful sunshine. But this year, I feel like that the spring has come down on me. Something soft and strong is growing from my heart and I'm being filled with delight and inspiration. Feel the earth breathing, feel the wind whispering, feel the flowers dancing, feel everything growing. I feel the real spring for the first time.
Everyone says life is beautiful. But once I thought that was a big lie. Look at all the troubles we've had, we worry about our grades, calories intake, pimples, other people's opinions of us, money, friendship, relationship, we miss our parents, the best friends in middle schools, girls we crushed on before, we cry over our sucky life, lack of sense of belonging, loneliness, depression, we always have to deal with so many shits of life. I just wonder how life can still be beautiful.
But now I realize that I can really just look at things in a different light. It's spring and I'm happy. All those worries just seem so trivial. All those sweet little worries are just part of my beautiful life.
When I was really down, when I was almost desperate, hope is the only thing that helped me go on. I knew that one day, I will find my own happiness and I can just cast all my troubles away and embrace my simple and beautiful life. This day is coming now.
Spring has come, and I've got a feeling this is gonna be my spring.

leaving skool guoyandao at 1:02 PM [comment] (1)

***



Saturday, April 02, 2005

度过了一段幸福时光。春天真是一个奇妙的季节,当你走在每天都经过的大街上,看到那些未名的花朵开心地绽放在枝头,任谁的心中都是阳光灿烂。
这是阳光灿烂的日子,生活简单的不需要选择。这是一个诗歌重生的季节。我又回到了我心爱的16岁。

leaving skool guoyandao at 4:24 AM [comment] (0)

***



guoyandao
Screwed-up genius
I love: hot chicks, Nirvana, Catcher in the Rye, American Beauty, Tokyo Love Story, Little Tree, 海子, 王小波, 身边的人
I hate: hypocrites who pretend to know me, domineering assholes, rules, violence, my humorous imperfections
I wanna go back to: Semptember 1999, woodstock
I wanna meet: Belle
I wanna be: a beautiful lunatic, a rock star, a wandering poet, Brad Pitt, Arthur Rimbaud, 令狐冲, 谭嗣同


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