Dyed my hair Pink.
Realized how hard it is to be always on top of things. Because I will always fall asleep.
Had my first pledge meeting at KA, it was actually very fun.
Had my first pledge ritual at KA. It was very cool. Had a big brother.
Had first crosstalk meeting. Fruitful. Gaining back my confidence now.
Ate Indian food. It was delicious. But nothing like the Indian food I had back in Singapore. Americans have changed every food.
Grew my confidence. Felt I could have everything under control. I've never done it before but maybe it could happen.
Became more desperate for love. Each and every day.


leaving skool guoyandao at 9:05 PM [comment] (0)

***

我这人最大优点：善良。
第二大优点：真实。

我这人最大缺点：不严谨不踏实，虎头蛇尾，一知半解。
我这人第二大缺点：只有那两个优点，其他全部都是缺点。

leaving skool guoyandao at 1:56 PM [comment] (0)

***

Tonight was Mask n Wig's mixer with the arts house hot dancers.
And tonight was the first time I danced with girls.
It came unexpected as this girl(all the girls were pretty drunk before they came to the show) came to me and asked me "would you like to dance?" I was like, wow.
But she didn't like my moves and soon lost interest in me. Hahahaha guess it's the price you have to pay.
Slowly I became bolder and bolder, inspired by Josh Head and Reg Tigerman, I started to approach girls and danced with them. And like Kian Leong said, those girls want guys man, you can tell from the way they dance with you... which I shall not elaborate here. But it was definitely worth the experience. Haha.
There was this girl, who I think was a stunner. Despite looking innocent and cute, she surprisingly has a deep voice and turned out to be the craziest girl of the night. Well she smokes too. I don't know man, although she's doing those bad things, she still looks most attractive. Guess I have a thing for bad girls. But bad girls don't give a shit about me. This world is totally weird man.
After a while I didn't feel dancing girl was that fun anymore. I think it's just because I'm a conservative guy who feels awkward dancing with random girls. although it's definitely more fun than if you dance along like a loser.
What an experience man. I don't think I'll like it in the future, but it was an unforgettable night, guess it's my real first step into parties. At least I gained experience liao..hahahaha.
Peace out.

leaving skool guoyandao at 10:53 PM [comment] (0)

***

Went to Kofi's place today. Kofi is a cool kid from Ghana. I mean, he's from Ghana, isn't that so damned cool? Come on man he's from Ghana? How many kids from Ghana have you ever met? How many kids from Africa have you ever met?
Okay i got off the track. Anyway I went to his place and he showed me how he uses FL Studio to make beats, in fact, to make hip-hop music. It's in a lot of way like those movie maker, you just compile the tracks altogether, but the effect is amazing! It blew my mind off! I think if making music is so easy, I'd like to give it a try too man. Maybe someday im'a become a nigga rappa man.
He also explains to me how rap is different from hip-hop. He explained to me how true gangsta rap or street rap is deep and profound and how so many genius rappers nowadays are going commercial. Wow, now I started to appreciate rap music a lot more. I mean, it's not just a black culture thing. It's not just some pop fad. Any music that has so many cult followers must be very profound.
I'm gonna dig into the music man, I used to see them as gangsters who's good at talking. Snoop Dogg Daddy, Tupac, Nas, Twista...it should be amazing.


leaving skool guoyandao at 3:20 PM [comment] (0)

***

在网上看到我近期最喜欢的乐队，Yo La Tengo, 的评论。说他们低调唯美的音乐是“沉静而痛苦”。
每个对世界还存有浪漫的幻想的人都是这样，沉静而痛苦。


leaving skool guoyandao at 10:05 PM [comment] (0)

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The whole world seems to be troubled by love now.
It's a world of love.
Love someone or be loved. It's a shame to be alone.


leaving skool guoyandao at 10:04 PM [comment] (0)

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I was engaged in this very intriguing conversation with two of my catholic friends. First they talked about premarital sex -
Catholic A: it's just wrong man, fuck it nobody should have premarital sex.
Catholic B: I spoke to a pastor(or father, or whatever name appropriate) in this church and he was telling me that the Bible was written when people get married at the age of 13 or 14, and now we get married at 30 or 40. You gotta do something in between to release yourself you know. It's not wrong to have premarital sex as long as you love the person. Rui, what you say?
Me: Er...i don't care, sex is always good. The more sex the marrier!!!
Then they move on to argue about whether love is by choice.
Catholic A: Love is definitely by choice. You choose to love somebody because you know you love her.
Catholic B: No you're so wrong! Love is definitely not by choice. It's not determined by you. You can't decide who you love. You might not want to fall in love with somebody, but you WILL still fall in love with her. Rui, what you say?
Me(this time choosing not to be an asshole again): Hmm, man, I don't really know. If I love this girl who doesn't like me at all, does that mean love is not by choice?
That's a good question to ponder over my friends. If you're in love with somebody or has been in love or don't have any fucking idea what love is but is desperate searching for it, think about it, can we choose love?


leaving skool guoyandao at 9:52 PM [comment] (0)

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Yo La Tengo 真他妈的好听！！！！！！现在郑重修改我的all time favourite Top 5 为
1. Nirvana
2. Radiohead
3. Guns N' Roses
4. Yo La Tengo
5. Pavement


leaving skool guoyandao at 8:38 PM [comment] (0)

***

我记得上一次告别
你匆匆钻进火车的身影
我的头发乱得像我的心情
我想起你在我面前神秘莫测的微笑
你闪烁的眼神
像那些温暖细小的跳动回忆
那个冬天
和那些碎落满天的白雪
模糊得就像爱情

我只是一个偶尔忧郁的少年
在生命中最柔软的季节
邂逅了一场最美丽的错误
我只是一个幼稚的诗人
一把温柔的木吉他
一段天真的时光
一座封闭已久的城池

我看着你的时候总是
不由自主的微笑
我看着你和他的时候
心里就开始潮湿
我看着你的时候
总是
不知道从何处开口
我看着你的时候
感觉一切时间都在凝结
我看着你笑的时候
仿佛看着一条小溪
清澈而遥远

那个冬天
雪花飞舞的冬天
青春的呼吸在悄悄改变
每个少年都是这样
经历过甜蜜的忧伤
急着为自己流浪的心
找一个落脚的客栈

下一次花开是什么时候
下一次心动是什么年头
风过叶落
幸福就这样没了消息
我又回到了宁静的故乡
依旧一个人唱着
没人听过的歌曲








leaving skool guoyandao at 7:36 PM [comment] (0)

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This is gonna make my blog low-class and stupid but -
In the Marketing 101 class today, I met two of the most gorgeous girls I've ever seen in my life. Breath-takingly hot.
Well I was thinking of dropping the class. But now, I'm already changing my mind.




leaving skool guoyandao at 6:56 PM [comment] (0)

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I guess I've made quite a few wrong decisions in my life.
That's because I always hadn't gotten enough advice on it before. I heard from one guy that this is good, you should do that, and then I'll be like, okay it's settled.
That's where all the wrong choices begin.
Lesson to be learnt, when you need to make an important decision, make sure you get a lot of advice on it.


leaving skool guoyandao at 6:56 AM [comment] (0)

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Looking back at my very first semester of college, I'd say it is an unforgettable one. Maybe not as unforgettable as I'd thought it'd be, but I like the way it was. I felt more real a person. I might have pursued a different lifestyle, maybe a more high-strung and active one. Somehow I've come to known myself more and realized what I really want through the years. I've started to hate ingratiating myself at social events. I know it doesn't matter to me that much how many acquaintances I have, but how many FRIENDS. Not a very good mentality for a future business man haha.
Things I can't forget from Fall 2004 -
*Joining Mask and Wig and getting to know a bunch of very cool American kids. Dressing up as women and getting notorious by posting the photos on the facebook. Doing hilarious sketch comedies which make no sense, which I like. I've gotten a peek into American college life, had some crazy memories such as the bus trip to Princeton game. Became a rock star(for the first time in my life actually) at the Kick-off Bash party.
*Having the first business class of my life, Management 100. Didn't like it and thought most of the stuff we did was a waste of time. But got to know a few really nice kids. Met this amazing Jewish girl. She was the first girl who hugged me for greeting. It almost felt like my first kiss, haha.
* Having the first Econ, French and JAVA classes. Liked them all.
*Trip to Yale and met YuTing. My first travel in US was all on my own. It was very fun exploring the transportation systems in US. They are certainly confusing.
*Knowing CUUSers!!!!!!It rocked my life!!! I can't forget the Thanksgiving break and the winter break!!!!
*Being in Claudio's Econ recitation. He's an amazing TA hard to level with.
*Taking writing class on films on American politics. Got to watch some classic films. I love American History X. Knew a bit more about the U.S. now. Certainly not enough but it was a good start. I slept too much in the class. Felt sorry for the professor. Got to know Auburn(don't know how to spell) and Clara through the class, very cool kids.
*Joining Queer 101 preceptorial. It was a fantastic experience! I should join preceptorial every year! Got to learn a lot more about the LGBT community.
*Living with an American kid and an American Chinese kid. Both of them are crazy about NBA. One of them(the american kid) is crazy about anything, football, the daily show, the simpsons. Haven't gotten much time to watch much of those shit with him yet but I will.

I'm looking forward to Spring 2005. It will be a splendid one.



leaving skool guoyandao at 5:55 AM [comment] (0)

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今天我有一点点喜出望外。
想起当年在纽约麦当劳时候接到的那个电话。感觉已经很遥远。那时候的欢喜却依然清晰。
心动的感觉，还是很美好的。


leaving skool guoyandao at 11:09 PM [comment] (0)

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A few thoughts about rushing:
1. It's so freaking fun! Never had such fun since i came here, think i'm gonna love frat parties from now on.
2. Ask for advice from someone who's similar to you, who cares if he's intelletual or experienced, some people's advice just won't fit you.
3. Don't force yourself do things you think you'd like but actually don't like.
4. You'll never like what you don't like.
5. Always be on top of things and be on time.
6. Be very clear of what you need to do.


leaving skool guoyandao at 10:51 PM [comment] (0)

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我要说的是，爱情不是看你有没有本事，有没有魅力。


leaving skool guoyandao at 11:33 AM [comment] (0)

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This one's for some of my friends out there.
Love is not a game, there is no victory nor defeat. Even if the person you love doesn't love you back, it just means that you don't belong to each other. Why feel beaten down? It's not worth it coz one man, or even a million men, who don't have feelings for you won't make you any less precious to someone else.
Love is unique, there is no ground to believe that everyone who you like should admire you in return. You just can't force it. So let's all just face it.



leaving skool guoyandao at 7:14 AM [comment] (1)

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leonard cohen's lyrics are among the most beautiful poems in the world.

HEY, THAT'S NO WAY TO SAY GOODBYE

I loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm,
your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm,
yes, many loved before us, I know that we are not new,
in city and in forest they smiled like me and you,
but now it's come to distances and both of us must try,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.

I'm not looking for another as I wander in my time,
walk me to the corner, our steps will always rhyme
you know my love goes with you as your love stays with me,
it's just the way it changes, like the shoreline and the sea,
but let's not talk of love or chains and things we can't untie,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.

I loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm,
your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm,
yes many loved before us, I know that we are not new,
in city and in forest they smiled like me and you,
but let's not talk of love or chains and things we can't untie,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.



leaving skool guoyandao at 11:05 PM [comment] (0)

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怀念少年时候的浮躁。那时候的打在身上的白色阳光。挂在脸上的清澈笑容。急于表现自己的蠢蠢欲动。看到自己喜欢的女孩子的粗重的呼吸，羞涩的心思。乎乎乎奔跑在篮球场上任着大汗淋漓。煞有介事地跟朋友大侃特侃人生哲理。我曾经是一个聪明老实游手好闲的小男孩。
现在我们都长大成人啦，需要为自己的前程担心啦。房子，工资，关系，样样都要开始挂念。有些事再也不能按孩子的游戏规则去玩啦！我对自己说，要沉稳起来，不能再浮躁啦。
但是有时候还是会像一个懵懂少年，莫名其妙地傻笑，突然想起某个曾经喜欢过的女孩子会沉默不语地呆对着墙壁。很久很久。
以前我以诗人自居，喜欢说一些，青春的月亮/挂在天上/流浪的思念/还在歌唱 之类的很酸的话。
其实真正的诗就在心里。那是无法用文字表达出来的。我每一次感动和感伤，就是我的心在轻轻吟诵那些最深处的诗句。


leaving skool guoyandao at 8:07 PM [comment] (0)

***

Went rushing these days. Coz i feel that rushing is a big part of American college culture and I shall definitely get a taste of the experience.
Went to some rush events, but didn't like it, I don't like ingratiation. Everyone is putting up a smile and tries hard to engage in friendly small talk. It's tiring and I got sick of it easily.
Went to some parties thrown by the frats, turned out that I liked them a lot. Alcohol makes one happy, and it's definitely delightful to see all the pretty girls dressed in the most sexy fashion.
Gotta party more, man. Haha.


leaving skool guoyandao at 2:22 PM [comment] (0)

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In the maths recitation today, when the TA was going over the entire proof of vector spaces once again, Jeff, an american kid, politely interrupted him and said, "I'm sorry, I just don't understand the point of this. What do we use vector spaces for? I mean we're proving that something is an example of vector space, but so what? How do we apply all those?" That was pretty impressive. I could hardly imagine myself doing the same thing.
In the legal studies lecture, while the professor was presenting the powerpoint slides full of information, everybody was busy into copying. Lior turned to me and asked, "are these online?" I said I don't know. He just turned back and raised his hands to politely interrupt the professor, "are the slides online?"The professor told hime it would be put online. To me, that was pretty impressive too. I could hardly imagine myself doing the same thing.
I would have the same questions in my mind, but I would hesitate before I go ahead and ask them. I would wait for a better time which might never come, I would wonder if it would embarrase the professor, I would hesitate and ponder if i could present it in an appropriate way in English or if I would falter. But the truth is, all those are rubbish, excuses. Maybe it's because I'm used to the education back in China, maybe it's just me.
I shall learn to speak up. Speak up my mind right away.


leaving skool guoyandao at 2:02 PM [comment] (0)

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做一个质数
不能被其他任何数的乘积
来表达

做一个无理数
保留无穷尽的小数点后的
可能性

做一个负数
永远走向潮流的另一面

但是
做一个实数
拒绝虚无飘渺的虚数人生



leaving skool guoyandao at 6:08 PM [comment] (0)

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从今天开始等待。春去秋来，花落花开。


leaving skool guoyandao at 8:45 PM [comment] (3)

***

she said
don't rush it
who knows about tomorrow
but I can't give you
any promise today

she said
be careful
be very thoughtful if
you like a girl
you gotta learn to wait

she said
you don't even know me
and you won't be happy
even if you get me
she says

I said
......
okay



leaving skool guoyandao at 1:47 PM [comment] (1)

***

在听黑梦。意想不到的好听。毕竟是中国的摇滚，做得让我听得舒服。每次听西方摇滚时候总有一种陌生感，这不是语言的隔膜带来的，而是音乐本身的种族。音乐的肤色。黄皮肤的摇滚才能引起共鸣。
黑梦大概是窦唯从黑豹时期转型到艳阳天的过渡期。这真是一个奇人，现在做的民乐和简约爵士已经像天书一般没几个凡夫俗子听得懂了。把无地自容和五鹊六雁放到一起听吧，你绝想不到这是同一个人做的音乐。所以有时候希望窦唯能回来做点主流音乐振兴中国摇滚。现在崔健不知道在干吗，张楚迷茫了，何勇回归是遥遥无期。几大主要的乐队呢？舌头的说唱金属很有内涵但不够流行，木马唯美但是歌曲不够上口，花儿已经从当年惊艳的小花结成了一个红彤彤的富士大苹果，好吃但没劲，黑豹没了窦唯就是一“四流乐队”，唐朝不知要修炼到何年何月，朴树许巍已经跟零点一样奔小康去了让人懒得评论。2004年中国歌坛最大的惊喜是什么？是刀郎。
这真让人高兴不起来，窦唯你回来吧，窦哥，靠你了。


leaving skool guoyandao at 1:15 PM [comment] (0)

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I'm addicted to Columbia. Everytime I was there I had so much fun and fond memories that made Penn seem so uninspiring.
Had another unforgettable break. See that's the problem, the breaks at Columbia are too good that I'm afraid all other exciting travel plans will pale in comparison. I wanna stay in Columbia forever, and I wish all those lovely people will stay in Columbia forever, too. I crave for the kind of lifestyle.
The beginning of the break was pretty wasted,though. We played Mafia day and night. I mean day and night, and night, and day. We played Mafia on the first night until 7am, and then went to sleep. I was trying to sleep but got dragged to Metropolitan. Toured the museum in a semi-conscious state. I gotta say that although it felt like a dream that was too true and I felt asleep a thousand times, Metropolitan is awesome. If I may use vulgarity here then it'd be Metropolitan is ******* awesome, but there might be innocent kids reading my blogs so let's be clean.
Ai tian, or Jerry Ai, is one of a kind and definitely a very very cool person to remember of. He is the kind of guy that never stops talking yet you never get tired of him. Chu Ci, as usual, becomes his avid fan and all the girls were fascinated by him. The worst thing is, I happened to be on the same dining table with him, and so were many pretty girls, damn. But seriously, I love this guy. He's absolutely nice, too. Why the hell didn't I go Wesleyan!! I absolutely love the people there man.
Came back from Wesleyan, fell into perpetual sleep. Then we all went out again at late night. I joined Li dayin and Ben Lin for xiao feiyang, which in Chinese means little obese goat. So were four cute girls and chu ci. I made a mistake by sitting next to Li dayin. He ordered Wu Liang Ye, a super strong chinese liquor and skillfully persuaded everybody into drinking excessively. Oh my bloody god, for the first time I found drinking beer no different from water. We were all wasted. I was one of those with a sound mind. I gotta admit that getting high on alcohol is so much fun, especially watching some of the most hilarious scenes I've ever seen. To protect privacy, I shan't mention anything sensitive here, but I learned why guys always want to make chicks drunk. No it's not that dirty, I know what you're thinking.
Later, some more mafia followed. Followed by some more perpetual sleep and some more mafia, and eating, and perpetual sleep, and more mafia. The mode of life lasted until Dayin and Ben left. Haha. Da Shu was funny when he was drunk.
By then, we were basically split into different groups. Group One: The Li couple, chen, dashu and I. Except for the Li couple, everyone else felt like huge light bulbs. Group two: Li sheng, Ji xue(being the big brother of the group apparently), huo sixiao, wu zhengchen, chenbo, liu yao, they're true tourists and had a very fulfilling trip. The proof is sixiao's 400 shots on her $700 Canon Camera. Speaking of Sixiao, she eats a lot. I mean, A LOT. Like as much as I do, that's a very terrifying description. Group three: Cui Ying, Liu Yi, the gay couple. They're the mystic group, all I know about them is, Cui Ying is oh so beautiful. Group four: Tang danni, sisi, SP and baixue. I stopped by at their place for once, these girls are simply lovely. Especially sisi, she's the most lovely girl I've ever seen. However, that statement doesn't have any connotations. Group five: six golden flowers(a very Chinese expression), being gong xiaosi, he chang, liang lan, li duan, wang zi and qingliwen. They formed a sorority instantly and when I first heard their routine day activities I was literally shocked. Again for privacy reason I shan't share it with you guys here. Li duan and Liang Lan were like, stating fervently that they wanna go home everyday, but they never ever do it. Group six: chu ci and the philly people who went back philly and were unheard of until when Chu Ci came back with Da Shu. Group seven: Chang hao and qianyejun. Weird combination, haha. Chang hao is an intellectual architect and I like the way she talks, I dunno why it reminds me of my friends in NingBo. She shocked me by piercing her lip on the very last day. I was like, wow. Qian yejun also shocked me by sending me a thank you letter like weng jie did. What the hell? Everybody is going mushy, haha.
Anyway, the story goes on. We went shopping on boxing day at, like, 4pm when all the sales were over. You can see we are really smart people. Went soho at 730 and all the stores there closed at 8. Bought green hats together with chen. Everybody was laughing at our hats goddammit what happened to people with a good taste? Wanted to get everybody to go for KTV but failed to coz it was so cold. The night, well it was unforgettable.
Ramon whose name has been missing missed one flight coz he got up late playing mafia. He almost repeated the same mistake. The Li sheng gang missed their bus because they were busy shopping, and they did repeat the mistake.
I spent two days at Boston, they were beautiful. Met up with Rui Jie who's an awesome host because he can cook. He was also a fantastic tour guide, who knows every single thing about MIT. Met up with Meg and we made a snow man. How I love snow!!!!!!! Went to quincy market at night and it was awesome. The brookstone, oh my god, it was great. Then I met more singaporeans, this girl called emily took the same bus with me on the way back to NY, watched 暗花。It was very, very cool. Kian Leong, Samuel Kwek and Nansi, and some more singaporeans whose names I can't remember haha. Talked a lot of singlish again.
Reunited with the gang. Back to the light-bulb life.
Then came the countdown. The countdown was awesome, it was unforgettable, beautiful. I've never had such a good time since the summer of 1999. I remembered how we cuddled in the crowd and sang songs, played mafia together despite the unfavourable physical conditions that we were in. We were singing some very emotional tunes and we all got, well, emotional. Sisi jie even cried and that made her 1,000 times more lovely. It felt so good to sing songs with a bunch of good friends amongst the countdown crowd in a packed broadway street on the new year eve with all the flashy neon lights ahead. I suddenly felt so close to everybody and had an impulse to hug them. Those beautiful songs magically evoked our fondest memories and most tender feelings. We each gave a short speech. I started off by saying that I'm so thankful of meeting so many good friends via CUUS here. I meant it and for a moment I felt so happy and satisfied. I hoped the moment could last forever. We all went high and crazy at the countdown. Bai Xue got us all into jumping around like kids. It was all so wonderful.
On the last day I finally paied a proper visit to downtown NY like a tourist should do. Sisi jie injected a lot of fun and energy to the a bit tired-out group. At night we watched "There is no thief under the sky". A really cool movie. Although not very typically Feng Xiaogang. Absolutely entertaining. Karen Qin brought back a stunner whose last name is Qiang, as in, 强. Although i met tons of beauties during the stay, she is the most gorgeous one. But but but, I have to go back to Philly the very next day. Why must my fate treat me so unkindly??
I know it doesn't sound very cool, but that's -THE END-.


leaving skool guoyandao at 11:06 AM [comment] (0)

***